Broken-hearted Cheryl has reportedly agreed to meet with estranged husband Ashley Cole to discuss the future of their marriage. It is believed Cheryl, 26, intends to see 29-year-old Ashley next week to talk through their problems. However, the Girls Aloud star's closest friends are worried the sportsman will convince her to give him another chance, despite his infidelities. The source added to the Daily Mirror newspaper:' Her friends are worried he could still win her back. Even though she's furious about the way he's behaved, no one's convinced her she's totally over him. She's hurt and confused.'
As we know, people in the west are more open towards their interpersonal relationships than we are; it is easier for them to form a relationship than to maintain it for a long period of time. Famous artists and sportsman are just amongst many of those whose marriage is not for lifetime. I strongly feel that relationship formation is not that difficult for many, the key factor in determining whether or not a relationship can last long is how the two parties make efforts in the process of maintenance. Conflicts are unavoidable in any relationship; what is more, some degree of conflicts is generally considered healthy for a relationship.
In Knapp's Model of Relational Development, after initiating, experimenting, intensifying, integrating and bonding, the relationship then comes to the stages of coming apart. Having been engaged in marriage, Ashley didn't work hard on their marriage; instead, his behavior is really hurting and is harmful on the relationship. This can be traced back solely to his personality, or it can be the result of their differentiating after their bonding. Differentiating can benefit, even strengthen a relationship; differentiation can be a harbinger of relational decay and eventually dissolution. In this individual case, differentiation is obviously placing negative influence on the relationship. The most delighting thing in this relationship is that the girl is willing to give her husband a second chance and ignore his flaw history. This is really a brave move. As an old saying goes:" old habits die hard." Personally, I really find it hard to trust a man like this a second time. While maybe she just enjoys his company and loves him so much that cannot let go of him. Anyway, they should give it a try before blindly terminate the relationship.
Although appearance attractiveness has a big impact in the early stages of a relationship, it cannot be the only reason for any marriage. To develop a healthy and long-lasting relationship, they must have many other things in common to share with, to appreciate, and to love more of each other.
It's such a common thing that Tabloids report - the fact that famous stars and celebrities don't exactly have the best record in sustaining marriages and keeping long-lasting relationships.
ReplyDeleteWhether we are just an Average Joe or the most famous star in the world, relationships are not just a walk in the park.
I think 2010 can be touted as the year of infidelities. We definitely have been hearing too many revelations of infidelities this year. I feel that Cheryl Cole should terminate the relationship with her husband after his string of affairs.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I am not in a position to judge as I am not in her shoes or experiencing her situation. Therefore i agree with yu ting. There may be other reasons for them to form the relationship that may also sustain it after such an incident.
It is true that people go through Knapp's model of relational development throughout their relationship. Conflict due to differences is inevitable in a relationship. All the couple has to do is o solve it. If both of the are happy with the solution, the marriage will continue. If not, they termination will come into play. However, in many infidelity cases, usually the women tend to forgive their husband, for instance the famous U.S. politician Hillary Clinton.
ReplyDeleteMany celebs divorce and remarry countless of times, so much so that these western countries have one of the highest rates of divorce and remarriage. Their concept and mentality of being in a relationship or marriage is a believe that once the chemistry between both parties is no longer there, they shouldn't be compelled to remain in a relationship with the other party, so they split. However, if the affection between the two is rekindled, they'll get back together again. It's how relationships in western countries work. If there's no love or passion, why force oneself onto the other party and pretend that they still do?
ReplyDeleteBut despite all that, I feel that Cheryl Cole shouldn't leave him just yet. If she can't seem to let go, what made her feel that way in the first place. I'm sure that behind the playboy behavior Ashley portrays himself to be, he treats Cheryl well enough to make her feel relectant to let him go.
Think about it, doesn't the given situation remind us of Victoria Beckham and David's scandals?
Private life among "stars" are rather difficult. Those celebrities usually get problem in marriges. "Meeting, dating, marrying and then heart-breaking" is the normal process. What is the root cause? too much money? overfamous? We cannot purely sue them with such simple reasons. Single family tends to be more and more popular all over the world while sociologists focus on discussing the economic globalization. "Divorce globalization" hence appears even it exists with a sense of sarcasm.
ReplyDeleteWell, i am strongly disagree with your statement that people form relationship should not base on physical appearance itself. As we know people are usually attractive to the other party through their first impression which is the physical appearance. I mean, it is impossible for someone to start to get close to the person that he likes without taking into the consideration about her physical appearance. Hence, it might be true other factors can also cause them to form a relationship. However, at the early formation of relationship, i believe that physical appearance is the main facotr.
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many english people says that A.cole has the most beautiful wife, he is so stupid that giving up such a perfect woman. im really agree with that, if he does wrong and hurts you again and again. you may see through how deep he loves . why not leaving him and giving a chance to yourself.
ReplyDeleteMost celebrities have to endure a kind of public pressure that us, the "normal" ones, will not be able to imagine. Given this pressure, it will definitely be even more hurtful for Cheryl Cole to cope with her husband's infidelity. But eventually, she has to deal with the issues herself, because it's her own relationship. No matter how the public or her friends disapprove of her relationship, it is ultimately her own life. If she really feel that her husband is the one for her, then i think all we can do (and should do) is give her our blessings. Because we should remember, celebrities are humans too, and it is up to them how they wish to lead their lives. Just because they let us know how their lives are led, doesn't mean that we can dictate how their lives should be.
ReplyDeleteEvery time a celebrity fumbles with their marriage the media hypes up all the gossips and news. Reasons may vary from extramarital affairs, character clashes or financial difficulties etcetera. But celebrities are also humans. They have their rights to make mistakes as much as we normal people do. If you feel they are earning a lot of money and so they should be professional and not make such silly mistakes, but aren't the people from Wall Street making big bucks as well? Then they shouldn't have cause so much miseries with the mini bonds here in Singapore. Likewise, we should give the celebrities some slack. They deserve a second chance.
ReplyDelete(the following comment is written by a girl who doesn't want to leave her name)
ReplyDeletePhysical attractiveness is kind of like on a short term basis. If you are looking for a fling during the summer, yes, physical appearance is everything. Which girl never fantasies a dream date with the most handsome man?
Similarities in a relationship is what keeps the relationship going. The two party should have similar view points to keep a long lasting love. However, if they have the ability to understand and accept the other party's disagreeing views, it might work too.
But, physical attractiveness is definitely not everything.
And now she is divorced, again. It is not even a surprise considering that the guy had a rich past and will hardly change his nature. Relationship derives from mutual understanding-- it is not even much about the look. At the beginning there might be sparks and after a while it is all a sense of responsibility to keep it going.
ReplyDeleteappearance maybe important when people meet primitively,because most of them are not familiar with each other. however , appearance become less important if couples have lived for a long time . so in my opinion , appearance is not essential to keep relationship between couples . they begin to care about things which is more important , such as characteristics , background , position , health condition and so on . they will find what is the true love.people can not keep their relationship only because of the good appearance .The real love is understand and defend each other no matter how difficult their lives are and no matter their beautiful or not .
ReplyDeleteI agree with your statement that attraction based on appearance only will not fully explain the reason for marriage, there must be more things happening. Physical attractiveness is important for the first time people meet, people may like other people due to their appearance, but as time goes by, appearance will not matter that much anymore because connection will matter the most. It is better to have a boyfriend/girlfriend who can 'connect' with us rather than someone who is highly attractive.
ReplyDeleteSome conflicts may also be needed to strengthen the relationship, to 'spice it up'. By trying to solve the problems in the relationship, couples may become closer and know each other better. As long as the conflicts are still manageable, the relationship is still healthy.
believe each other is very importhant. when we become couple believe each other is come first between us.it's really hard to accept the fact that our bf or gf betray us. however, some bf n gf r cannot stop loving their lovers, because they r already used to the company of the other party.
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